Fat girls as well as hugely fat girls like to have fun!

So, this was me on a cruise Christmas 1996.  (And yes, I cut out the inmate, formally known as the ex.)

 Let me just say it: America is not made for fat people, let alone enormously huge people.  It's just not.  I knew that things on a ship were very small-- they have to maximize their profits!  But,  who designed those things? Lilliputians?? 

People make jokes saying "it was so small I couldn't turn around in there" (wherever THERE was-- or was it only my family that said this?  We are all fat, some of us really fat.)  But, literally, the bathroom was so small not only could I not turn around in it, I couldn't fit through the door without turning sideways.  And the shower?  I was twice as big as the shower.  And that isn't an exaggeration.  My butt stuck out of the fabric shower curtain and there was so much water on the floor, you would have thought the main deck sprung a leak.  From that moment, I vowed to not take a cruise again until I lost weight.  Which, at that time, I thought the likelihood of that happening was about, ohhh, nil.

I made the best of the cruise, participating in formal nights and doing shore excursions and yes, I even wore a bathing suit (no, there are no pictures of that once-in-a-lifetime event).  Here I am in Hell (Grand Cayman), holding a handbasket sea turtle.  Somehow, I think the look on those people's faces has little to do with the cute little sea turtle.  See the old man behind me?  He's looking at my butt (and not in a good way) and his lips are even pursed, almost like he's getting ready to say "whew, look at that tub-o-lard!", or something equally obscene.  But, those kind of looks were commonplace for a fat gurl like me.

I've been a fat gurl and I've been a hugely fat gurl (aka morbidly obese) and, I gotta say, I think in society it's easier being a hugely fat gurl.  Seriously.  At least you don't have to deal with annoying, small-minded people.  They avoid you like the plague.  They don't make eye contact with you.  And they don't dare brush up against you because, as we all know, great fatness is highly contagious.  So much so, that maybe one day, the research into the effectiveness of ghrelin in prevention of obesity will result in a vaccination. 

Until then, we must ALL REMEMBER: no eye contact with the hugely fat people of the world.

Until the next installment . . .

 With love and sincerity,

Brandi