Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Kanye West Gets Holy On My Ass
I don't know whats better gettin laid or gettin paid. Oh and just so everyone knows, George Bush doesn't care about black people! Only Jesus cares about black people, and did I tell you that I am the Jesus Christ. Just check my photo ID. Look out for the new What Would Kanye Do clothing line.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Dreyer'sIce Cream Improves People's Health
Vanilla, boring? No way! Our Slow Churned™ Vanilla Light Ice Cream is the perfect balance of sweet cream and the finest vanilla … a favorite among true vanilla experts! And, even better, No Sugar Added! We really only lie to you by only adding the greatest Sugar Alcohols instead which are way more healthy for you, and they won't even make your stomach explode with the most painful gas for two fucking days of hell. Seriously, fuck you. Slow Churn my Ass!
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Tom Cruise Fires Us Up, 110% Style
I love what I do. I take great pride in what I do. And I can't do something halfway, three-quarters, nine-tenths. If I'm going to do something, I go all the way. So, take for instance, my work as God. I love telling everyone what to do and what's right and wrong...and as God, I will always give eleven-tenths.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
The Almighty Dr. Phil Knows Your Body, Oh Yes, He Does!
You need to listen to your body because your body is listening to you. If you heard some of the things my body tells me every night, you would be amazed. My body actually told me that I was in fact God on earth and that I should be telling other people what to do with their sad lives. One night, my body actually told me that all people are fat and so, that it what I tell others. I listen to my body because it is always right and benevolent.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Celine Dion Ignites the Fire in Her Role as a Mother
I want to be more successful as a mother than I am in show business. And let me tell you, that's a hard thing to do. Do you know how many records I've sold? And how many times I've sung My Heart Will Go On to a sold out crowd at my overpriced Vegas show? It would boggle your mind if you knew the numbers. I am trying to be that successful of a mother - and you know what I do every night? I sing My Heart Will Go On to my kids every night before they go to sleep. They are really so blessed.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Bret Michaels Keeps it Real
If I showed you what I get offered every day, you'd laugh: 'Climb the Himalayas with a backpack and float down on your ass, you'll be on TV.' I'm like, no, I want to be around music. On The Chris Isaak Show I was around music. On Yes, Dear I was around music. And right now, on Rock of Love, I am around music too. The show is based solely on music. I hate critics who try to make the show just about ditzy idiotic chicks, who can't speak English and are required to have boob jobs in order to get on the show. That's just not what I'm about.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
P. Diddy Declares His Heavenly Status
I feel safe in white because, deep down inside, I'm an angel. Well, actually, I am Jesus Christ, just so everyone knows. New perfume comes out April 2009.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Rush Limbaugh Lights up a Fire as "The Male Chauvinist Pig"
We're not sexists, we're chauvinists -- we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want. And, I think that might be why I am currently single and on my third divorce.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Tyler Perry fires us up, discussing Jesus and His Filmmaking
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
Tyler Perry fires us up, discussing Jesus and his Filmmaking
Did you know that you can’t say “Jesus” on a sitcom? They told me that, and I was like, You gotta be kiddin’ me. If you don’t want my God here, you don’t want me here either God has been too good to me to go and try to sell out to get some money. That’s OK. I will sit in a corner and be broke with the Lord before I sit there and have them give me millions and sell my soul. It ain’t gonna happen. I'll just go make some more Madea movies with the Lord then. He always seems to have this mysterious way of helping me finance my movies. The Lord really is my Producer.
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
Absolutely Bona Fide and Completely Non-Fabricated Advice from those We Love to Hate (aka The Shit that Keeps Us Going)
What Ann Coulter "Says" on the Skinny, the Way-too-Skinny
Anorexics never have boyfriends. That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend. So, ladies, my advice is to go out and get a boyfriend. And then, be sure to come up with a cute pet name for your boyfriend like “Mr. White,” “Baby Charlie,” or “Snow Bird.”
Micha writes Flaab Fire with a red hot Fire Poker, motivating all those flaabers and peeps out there to get Heated and lose some flaab.
So now that some of my "flaab" is gone, I must maintain. And Damn, it is hard to maintain!
How do I maintain?
Find more sources for motivation.
Ohh, how we love to hate.
So, I am asking all you flaabers and peeps out there, who is a delectable person that you love to hate, and will provide enough motivation (FIRE) for you to drop pounds?
Help me out, here, I need a complete a list of all the possible MoFos that I, and we all, can use for FlaabFire. If you know of someone, leave it in the comments section and I will consolidate a grand list.
So, I woke up this morning, and it's goddamn Valentine's Day, and I walked to the bathroom, stepped on the scale.
127.4
127.4 Motha F!
Which translates into Myra and Tyra can officially kiss my non-flaaby ass! No money to Myra and no dough for Tyra or the show (I don't have to contribute any $ to any more Tyra Undercovers)
Not only have I lost the weight, I feel fuckin' great, I'm serious (the only time I will be serious), this is the healthiest I have felt in my life. Flaab is the shit.
And to celebrate, I am going to send my love to Tyra by playing my favorite video:
And, I always remember, "Love Thy Enemy" right? I would've have lost the weight if I hadn't the Myra-Tyra motivation (well love's a strong word).
And, guess what? FLAAB AIN'T OVER FOR ME: Flaab Hard 2: With a Flaabvengence
5 more days, and to be honest, I'm feeling a little flabby. I think I need some supreme TyraCult Motivation. Every time I watch this video, I don't why but I feel the need to just take my clothes off, run outside naked, and act like screaming maniac. (Why is it that I can't get others on the street to do the same? Damn, Tyra! You are so fierce!)
Now that is my daily workout regiment - it burns a lot of cals - so go on, try it! (Drink the KoolAid, girls)
This is the reason I want to be on the Tyra Banks show.
I am dying here peps. I don't know how much Tyra I can take. She's harder to handle than this "diet." For this last week - 7 days - I will begin with Tyra, being locked up, in Prison! She goes for 1 day, and never wants to go back! So fierce!
I think I want to create a Tyra punching bag and just go away at it after this video. Lose some pounds, that's what I'm talking about.
7 more days of this shit, dammit! I don't know if I can handle it.
Countdown: 8 Days. Tyra is pushing me these last 8 days. I don't how many more times I can watch her go undercover. But, she's so fierce! She goes homeless for a day and then goes right back to her safe home at night. Such a humbling experience.
Flaab.com WORKS! You bet $$$ on how many pounds
you want to lose; and you get your $$$ back when you lose them.
However, if you eat like a swine, miss your deadline,
and don't lose the weight, your money goes to
KILL THE WHALES (a puppy mill, your most detested enemy, etc.)
about me: Micha does not like happiness, love, people who laugh, intelligence, singing karaoke, or chocolate-covered almonds and boxed wine while watching Mighty Ducks. However, she loves boring people, simplicity, Jesus, Hummers, mainstream trends(only), small brain sizes, missionary, and ordering Cheeseburgers at Mexican restaurants. Micha despises the use of sarcasm and/or bullshitting.
Carly: Ah I LOVE my shout out on your commercial! It was so funny! I made my friends watch it last night. "Look guys, I'm famous!" Carly: I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading your blogs! They always make me laugh! Carly: Oh Micha, you make me laugh so much! I FINALLY got around to watching your music video and reading the lyrics, and someone came into my office to see if I was OK because I was laughing so hard! You're hilarious! Jason: So, what are you going to do on Valentines Day once you beat the pants off your goal? Will it involve an enormous box of chocolates? Lindsay : Umm all I can say is, you are hysterical! I love it! And yes, Shallory can kiss my cinnamon buns!! Jason: My e-mail is on my profile page, e-mail me and I'll go over how to get your stuff up in HD Jason: Why thank ya darlin, I'm into your new vid too, I'm going to get some yogurt right now! And yeah let's beat Paris' ass you take the left cheek, I'll take the right. Mabel : Hi! Glad to hear about the bananas working! Congrats on being on track! Ilana Turner: Los Feliz! I'm in Hollywood. Alas, I hve been here FOREVER and no longer get lost. Maybe that's why this whole stayin thin thing is getting harder. Ha! Carly: Micha, you are hilarious! I could not stop laughing as I watched your video and actually sent an email to my friends saying they had to watch it as well! Alek: Thanks, Micha! Actually lost 10 pounds now, but going to blog all about that tomorrow. My official starting weight was 172, but I registered my Flaab account when I was 170. Your infomercial is HYSTERICAL! Kenneth: Micha! You are such a natural :) I just watched it again - loved all the beeping and the farts!!! I haven't laughed that hard all week! Angel Logan: Hi Micha! Thanks for the great feedback. After a long and arduous day today, it was the perfect pick-me-up! Lindsay : Muscle!! Bahaha. I love your infomercial! Brilliant! Carly: I LOVE the Saved By The Bell Picture! I posted the video from "Hot Sundae" when the girls formed a band and did the work out video on my profile a few days ago. You can do it! Dan: I hear doing the dishes and giving your boyfriend a backrub is a great way to burn calories. Good luck! Mabel : Micha, no no no! Try like, 4 at a time... :) e.jean Carroll: Congratulations, Micha! You are the first to broach the topic of Gas!! Dan of Amanda: If you want to eat late at night, make sure it's 'protein.' Jason: So, it seems like you're specifically out to do ass related exercises. Hah, those can be tricky I wish you the best of luck!
Deanna Director: e.jean! This site is absolutely Flaabulous!
