I don't think I'll ever go back to the elliptical machine.

I thought I hated running - I tried the cross-country running club and quit about a quarter of the way through the season. But since I was committed to go to the gym two days ago and did not for any reason want to get on the elliptical, I opted for the treadmill. For some reason, it just works for me! No cardio theater, just music to help me keep whatever pace I'm going at. I walked/ran two miles and now, two days later, my legs are still pretty destroyed. I can barely walk up and down stairs because my Achilles tendons are so tight!

But I learned something from this - well, two things, really: first, that running isn't so terrible and the treadmill is my friend; second, that I have a higher level of cardiovascular endurance than I thought and it's just my leg muscles that can't keep up. I didn't stop running because I was out of breath; I stopped because I could hardly run in a straight line anymore, so tired were my legs. I know overexercising isn't such a grand idea but I've been doing weight training in the between time and stretching a lot, and that's been really helpful. It's a good feeling, all in all - I managed to do something I didn't think I could!

I thought that making a mental note of approximately how much I ate (and how many calories that was) would be enough. But, well, it's not - I stepped on the scale today to check and turns out, I'm back at 119. Back to the food journal with me!

Also - I wish it would stopppp rainingggg so I could go for a run.

Good posture. I've been having back pain pretty constantly for about a week, and I'm inclined to say it's because I slouch so badly my spine's liable to snap - so let's see if sitting up straight does anything for the problem.

I know I made one of my goals to go to the gym 3 times a week, and I started on that today. In the future, though, I think I'll just stick to weight training at the gym. I only lasted 12 minutes on the elliptical machine before I quit out of boredom. Sure, maybe I was getting a little tired too, but if it hadn't been so mind-numbing, I could have kept going and hit at least 20 minutes. Even watching the Discovery Channel concurrently (it's shark week!) wasn't enough to keep me entertained.

On the plus side, the weather here has finally stopped sucking. For the past few days it's been all clear skies and sunshine, perfect for getting outdoors. I just got a longboard (one of the healthier things my boyfriend's influence has brought upon me), so I'm trying to get out more often and make use of it; combine that with some jogging and biking and hopefully I'll stop hating cardio!

The weight I'm at right now is pretty stubborn; it seems like if I change my diet to be any more deliberately low-calorie, it won't be sustainable. (Of course, all that fast food could be cut out...) So I've been trying to make little substitutions here and there - spinach instead of iceberg lettuce, for example. My latest idea was blueberry sauce instead of maple (or chocolate) syrup. Blueberries are in season now and the sauce couldn't be easier - just berries and sugar/substitute if you like, cooked on the stove until the berries release their juices and the sauce thickens to your liking. Much better tasting, and better for you, than syrup!

I'm 120 pounds. That's not fat. It's just... a little overweight for me. I think that losing about ten pounds is a good goal.

Even though I'm really knowledgeable about healthy foods and all that, I just keep eating stuff that isn't good for me. It tastes delicious, sure, and I'm not talking about fast food. I love to cook and I'm always coming up with new recipes from Tastespotting... I just don't believe in skimping on the oil and butter and using lowfat cheese and things like that. It's just not the same.

When I don't cook for myself, I tend to eat out a lot. It's a bad idea and I know it - it's a drain on my bank account and it's probably directly responsible for most of the unwanted fat on me. It's just convenient, and since my boyfriend can eat that crap and keep his amazing body, it's difficult for me to say no to it myself.

I do practice healthy shopping, though. I don't buy bags of chips and pretzels and stuff like that, I don't buy big cartons of ice cream. There's nothing in the house worth snacking on except almonds. So how is it that I haven't lost much weight at all?

I first noticed I was getting a bit heavy when I hopped on the scale out of curiosity, back in May I think, and noticed I was something like 125. That was just unconscionable for me, so I decided to pay more attention to what I was eating. Yesterday I weighed 118, this morning 120. It fluctuates a lot, I assume due to what time of the day it is, what I've eaten, water, etc. So I've made some progress already, that's for sure. I want to be in shape. I want to be able to run up Mount Sentinel when I go down to Montana for college this fall. I want to be in the shape I need to be in to enjoy the outdoors - do you realize how much hiking sucks when your legs aren't as strong as they should be?

So I should start by setting some goals aside from just losing weight.

- Stop eating out so much! Maybe limit it to twice a week for now.
- Get up before 10am for god's sake and eat a decent breakfast. Energy bars don't count and the chocolate ones are more like a dessert anyway.
- Go to the gym three times a week. I didn't say exercise, I said go to the gym. It'll build willpower. I'm always better about exercising when I'm at the gym, like I'm there for a purpose.
- Stop thinking that I can eat whatever James eats. Let him have his goddamn Cheezits and Taco Bell and the diabetes that comes with them.