The target has changed... I repeat, the target has changed....

So, it's going really well.  I took some video, but I haven't uploaded it yet (can't find my cord!).

But portioning out stuff ahead of time is really working for me!

My Fresh Direct delivery arrives today at 2pm. 

I am going to lay it all out and show you guys when it gets here.  It's so much cheaper than Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem and I can pick what I want!!!

I should just get the Nobel Prize for Everything right now.

... because I can't afford it.  So, I decided to create my own Jenny! 

We have Fresh Direct here, which delivers groceries to your door.  They have premade salads, stir fry kits, chopped veggies... it couldn't be easier to eat good food in small portions!   But it's a loooooot cheaper.  Plus the ingredients are fresh, so there's not added chemicals and sodium, etc.

I am creating a menu and ordering today.  When I have it all laid out, I'll snap some photos.

   Really?

I wish I could be addicted to the gym instead of food.  It would be so great to not be able to live without getting up and dashing off, bright eyed and bushy tailed, to the New York Sports Club down the street. 

I would get excited the night before, laying out my boot cut yoga pants, extremely "uniboob" making sports bra, tank with some support built in (gotta protect the girls), Chip and Pepper soft tee and my plush, thick, cozy athletic socks.   I would lay them gently at the foot of the bed, anticipating the morning when I could slide them on, visions of free weights dancing in my head.

I'd fill up my SIGG bottle and go.

Oh, ho, oh, the thrill of Steve scanning my card at the desk!  Gosh and golly gee, the blast of knowing, when I grab that fresh towel, my journey of pushing myself to the limits will begin!  

It would start with a 5 minute warm-up on the elliptical trainer, to "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen.   Off the elliptical I'd leap and to the free weights, grabbing two 7 pounders and a balance board.  At that time, Destiny's Child's "Independant Woman" would be rocking in my earphones.   "Don't Cha", "Lip Gloss" and "It's Raining Men" would follow as I pumped my arms with overhead presses and bicep curls; keeping my abs tight as I balance at the same time.   3 sets of 12 reps, barely able to eke out the last few reps, as it shoud be (because I push myself because I am addicted to working out because I don't binge on ice cream, cookies and cakes anymore!  Yay for me!).  Off the balance board... I am really energized now!  I do some dead lifts to "Dive Me Wild" by Vanity Six. 

Hey, you're awesome!  I'd think as I made my way to do some back extensions.  I would have educated myself enough to know that core work is extremely important.  So, while I'm doing extensions, I listen to "Sexy Back", giggling that at coincidence... I love working out that much!! 

Shall I do ab work on the mats to "She's A Bad Mamma Jamma" by Carl Carlton?  Hells yes!   Moving into the "Wonder Woman (workout mix)" and George Michael's "Too Funky", I'm crunching away, doing bicycles; the Pilates 100... I just don't want to stop... I love working out that much! 

I am Wonder Woman!  All the world is waiting for me and the power I that I possess!  I am fighting for your rights in my satin tights!  I can stop a bullet cold; make the Axis fold!!  More importantly, I can make a hawk a dove,stop a war with love, make a liar tell the truth!

Now for some cardio. Treadmill,"Scream" (I don't care for Michael Jackson, but this one has Janet, so...), "99 Luft Balloons",  "Rhythm Nation", Billy's Idol's "Blue Highway"... while I warm up and then alternate walking and sprinting.  Then I plug my headphones in to the TV on the treadmill and catch some of The Today Show.  5 minute cool down and I get off the treadmill and stretch on the mats, maybe even using a foam roller.

I would be sort of sad to leave, gathering my jacket and purse out of the locker... but I'll be right back there tomorrow!!

I.... love...working... out....that much!

Whew!

I'm exhausted just typing out my fantasy regimen.  

Does that count as exercise?

I work from home. 

I have a morning ritual.  I get up early, eat some oatmeal and drink coffee or tea; wish I had the impetus to go to the gym and then I turn on The Today Show.  I watch and write from 8-10 and then I partake in an exhausting endeavor from 10-11: despising Kathie Lee Gifford. 

For those of you who do not know, Kathie Lee co-hosts the fourth (!) hour of Today with Hoda Kotb, who is a lovely woman and, obviously, very, very, very tolerant.  Kathie Lee is like luggage, you can’t get rid of her; she lasts frickin’ forever.  She is the herpes of television personalities.

Why, you ask, do I abhor the former co-host of Live With Regis and Kathie Lee?  I have a list.  Yes, a list.  And, you may say, I have no life…because I have the time to make this list.  Granted.  I give you that.  I have very little life right now.  My revulsion of Kathie Lee Gifford altogether energizes and saddens me. 

1.      It’s all about her.  Kathie Lee will turn any subject around to include herself.  A guest could say, “I love hot dogs” and Kathie Lee will say, “I love hot dogs, too and Frank and I once had dinner with Billy Graham”.  I swear, there could be a Holocaust survivor being interviewed and she would interrupt to talk about how lovely her trip to Germany was.

2.      God.  God.  God.  Now, look, I am a Christian. I’m not a zealot, but I do believe in God.  Fine.  Kathie Lee wants EVERYONE to believe in God.  She IMPOSES her beliefs onto the viewing public.  Just as there is separation of church and state, so should there should there be separation of church and The Today Show.  She will say things like “God Bless” when signing off at the end of the show.  Are there no Jews, Buddhists or Agnostics watching this tacked on hour of a morning program?  Is the last hour for Christians only? At the end of the third hour, do heathens need to tune out?

3.      The singing:  Kathie Lee, shut up!  Stop singing!  We know you were on “Name That Tune” and “The Lawrence Welk Show”.  We know you have a gazillion albums.  I cannot believe you actually have the staff play your songs on the show.  During Christmas, you actually had them play songs from your Christmas album!  Oh My God-uh!  Yes, I hear what you hear… and it needs to stop.

4.      Keepin’ It Real:  This is the worst.  Kathie Lee has written a musical called “Keepin It Real”, about a teenage girl trying to, guess what…?  “keep it real” in this topsy turvy world of pagers and peer pressure.  It debuted in Butte, Montana or Minot, North Dakota, where I guess kids compel one another to text furiously and “take the pot”.  It’s just like Kathie Lee to think she can change the world through mediocrity.  Once again, it’s all about her (see #1).  I think it should double bill with “Up With People”.

5.      Laugh and the world pukes:  Comedians who laugh at their own jokes irk me.  Morning show hosts who laugh at their own jokes make me want to lose my oatmeal and coffee or tea.  Kathie Lee interrupts people to tell her insipid jokes and then laugh at herself like she’s the new Johnny Carson.  She talks and laughs with that “rat a tat tat” manner of talk/laughing… Let’s say they’re discussing a place that sells giant cupcakes.  Kathie Lee would shut everyone up to say something like:  “I don’t know about you, but I’m not going nuh-huh-ear that puh-puh-lace.  Not with these thuh-thuh-ighs!” and then she kind of snort/sniffs with one eye squinted and her mouth in a crooked, Cruella de Ville grimace, like she’s trying to eke out a fart before anyone notices.  She also “holds” for laughs.  She’ll make what she thinks is a joke and then say something like, “Ummmmmm” or “ANYway…” as if letting a few second pass so everyone can get their big, giant, belly laughs out because she’s just so godamnned funny!!!!

*Sigh*

I know.  I know there are better things to be done.  I’m sure part of it is jealousy, part of it is boredom and most of it is legitimate. 

But the thought of tuning in to Rachel Ray’s show would probably put me in the grave.

I yo yo.  I am a yo yo.  I am a Duncan yo yo (which makes me think "donut", which is why I yo yo)...

I have lost weight, but then I think "Hey, I'm golden, let's eat that entire cake!".

Balance and breath.  I am finding so much is balance and breath.

Oh, and not eating an entire cake.

Going to Lafayette, LA for the holidays means food... lots of food.  Fast food, fried food, donuts, biscuits, pulled pork, etc. etc. etc.

I'm not saying I didn't partake, I did.  BUT... I also dropped another 2 pounds by doing work around my Mom's house, watching my portions and having a salad with every meal.

Take THAT, Louisiana cooking!!

Merry Christmas!  I've been very, very good!!

XOXO

Adrianne

I have had the stomach flu for two days and haven't been able to eat.

It's either sad or funny that I consider that a blessing for my weight loss challenge.

Erggggggh

Blarrrrrr

I must no more nibble on the goodies I made this week.  That's IT.  They are OFF limits.

I don't know if I will reach my goal!  7 pounds in 2 weeks?  Can I pull "Biggest Loser" numbers?!!?

December 17, 2008

I've lost 3 pounds... that's the good news.

Here's the bad news:  I am holiday baking.

It's like walking into a crack den.

Here are pics of the Crackhead eater's hell...

1.  Some Higher Power decides that, in order to make fudge, you have to have a buttload of butter, sugar, and Marshmallow Fluff.
Crackhead obeys.  No biggie, Crackhead eater thinks... who wants to eat that?

2. Stir, stir, stir until boiling... nothing tempting here, really.  Crackhead is calm.

3.  Oh no, thinks the Crackhead eater, chocolate and coconut.  Yum.  Me like.
The Crackhead stirs furiously to melt the yummies.

4.  Yummies get poured into greased pan.  The Crackhead eater wants to sleep in it.  I'll bet I could shrink myself somehow and live IN the fudge... forever.  Screw my boyfriend, work and friends.  I want to live, love and sleep in the fudge and a walnut can be my pillow, thinks the Crackhead eater. 

5.  The solution, for all of you other rehabbed food addicts... is NOT TO BAKE!!! 
But the real solution is to stick the pot into the sink ASAP before you have a chance to lick it or the big, chocolaty spoon.
The Crackhead does NOT desperately try to get her finger into the top of the pot for a taste before the water rises... rises... RISES!!!

6.  The final product (this is the chocolate/walnut batch).
The hardest fight is to keep it in a locked box, underground, under a bridge, covered in poop, guarded by angry baboons...
or just in a box and allow yourself one or two pieces.  The Crackhead breathes deeply.  She has made it through.

THAT is Crackhead baking hell.

Exhale.

I am currently doing my holiday baking for friends and family.

Meth addicts can't just make meth.  They can't be in  the meth lab and not sample.

Well, cookies, fudge and peppermint bark... those are my meths.

So far, doing ok.

Video to come!

Hopefully, this will provide you with a laugh today... this was after a 50 pound loss and then about 10 gained back... NOW I added another 30 or so.  I hope you laugh at this (I wrote it also)!

WARNING:  MATURE CONTENT

I looooove this recipe and it's only 90 calories.  You eat it slowly, too, so it's quite the treat!!

Mexican Chocolate Pops
90 calories, 4 g fat per pop

Cinnamon and dark chocolate make this pop by Ingrid Hoffmann, host of the Food Network’s Simply Delicioso, a heart helper.

2 tbsp cornstarch
2 1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp salt
3 cups skim milk
4 oz milk chocolate
3 oz dark chocolate
2 tsp vanilla extract

MIX cornstarch, cinnamon, chili powder and salt in a medium saucepan. Over medium heat, whisk in milk, breaking up clumps. Cook, stirring occasionally, until mixture thickens, about 12 minutes. Lower heat; stir in chocolates until melted. Removed from heat; add vanilla; cool 5 minutes. Whisk; fill molds and add sticks. Freeze 6 hours.

I come up with the BEST ideas in the shower!!!