Hi my Flaabers!!!

I didn't make it! I don't even remember when the deadline was. I didn't make it. Instead, from my starting weight of 165, I had gained about 10 more pounds in the course of a year.

But I haven't returned as a defeated loser. Instead,  I'm working hard to lose these stubborn, ugly pounds! I've already lost 10 pounds and counting..

It's not easy. But then again, anything worthwhile won't be easy.

The last one year was a very trying year. But, I've learned a lot and it has humbled me more than anything else. 

Thank you Flaab world for your support! 

It's almost been 2 weeks since I've posted about my dreaded 9 lb. weight gain from my very first weigh-in almost 6 months ago. Thank you E. Jean & Emily for encouraging me. Honestly, you guys are the best!!!! In life, we don't give enough credit for those who actually take the time out to say a kind word or propel us in the right direction with loads of encouragement! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! :)

Since the last time I posted, I've made some healthier decisions. Been squeezing in working out time during the week. I just feel so much more energetic. Forgot how good that felt! Other than that, been doing some soul searching as well. Had a heart-to-heart with my BFFs about how as long as I can remember, I've never truly been "happy" or "content" with my weight. I remember even weighing between 100 and 120 lbs (in high school and college) and really always having some issues with my arms or my boobs.. or my stomach.... And it made me realize that I wasn't happier when I was much, much, much smaller. That may have lead me to where I am now?  So, it brought me to the following conclusion: I need to be happy with where I am currently. Does that mean I need to jump up and down about being 50+ lbs over my ideal weight? No. But, it does mean that I need to be grateful for where I am now. My body is still functioning, albeit, at a less than optimal level. I still have my organs and my limbs. (I know it sounds like I'm overstating the obvious.. but these are things, I believe, that we do take for granted.) I may not have toned and fabulous arms right now.. but at least, I have them, right? My arms are, by God's grace, functioning very well. I realized that I need to focus on the positives and really focus on loving myself at where I am right now. Yes, I did gain a crap lot of weight this year. 2009 will be known as the one year, where I've weighed the most in my life. Not a pretty year for me. But it's ok.. It's time to take a deep breath and to really count my blessings as this year comes to an end. So, as I really take time to love myself now, just as I am, and take time to thank God for sustaining me through yet another year, I believe I will be able to appreciate every effort I can take towards attaining my final goal and hopefully, those changes will be permanent. 

Gained 9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when I'm about to ask myself if it can get any MORE horrific.. the answer is sadly, yes, of course! It can always get terribly worse, if I just let myself go. In the last couple of months, I've been extremely careless and apathetic. It's time for a major change!

I guess what I've learned is that if you keep doing the same things over and over again, without any deliberate changes to your routine/lifestyle, you are bound to get the same results each time. So, I just need to take control of my life and stop making excuses.

Ah.. it's almost 2 A.M. I guess first things first...need to get my zzzzs...

Thank you Flaab for listening :)

It's the weekend and I'm notorious for eating heaps of food on these 2  days.

But, I'm hopeful today.. Somehow I know that I'll be in control today.

How is this weekend so different from all the ones in the past 7 months?

Well, I think it all has to do with your mind. If you wake up on a certain day expecting to be at your best, you will surprise yourself at the end of the day by going above and beyond your aspirations. On the other hand, if you wake up with a negative attitude thinking that this weekend or day will be no better than the rest that passed, you are setting yourself for failure.

That's exactly what I'm thinking today and for this weekend. I will be in control and I will be responsible for my choices.

I am so happy that I lost 2 lbs!!! Thank you Jesus! I mention 'Jesus Christ' in almost all of my blogs, because he is my source of contentment, joy, reality, success, and everything beyond. As this journey progresses, I am trying to keep my eyes and ears very open.. trying to learn from my past mistakes and really find out the reason why I gained 35 lbs in 7 months. I was a nice 130 lbs in November, 08. Definitely not my ideal weight.. but on my way there. Then life happened. And I didn't deal with it responsibly. But that's ok. That's where God comes in with compassion and grace and says, "I forgive you and I love you and I will help you make it right this time!"

I realized today that "feeling energetic" or "being motivated" can be a CHOICE!....

I'm always complaining of having very low energy.. but today, I took a different route. I decided that no matter what, I CHOOSE to have energy for the day ahead of me. It's working magic so far!! :)

I ate well so far today. My meals were delicious and healthy.

I'm being productive at studying..

I feel great!! :) [Thank you JESUS!!]

First of all, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil 4:13)

I know how to do this..

Moreover... I want to do this for myself..

I want to feel alive and I want to have energy for everything God has in store for me..

So let's do this!! :)