Losing  weight is so easy.  You just need to eat a little less.  Most people just aren't willing to do that.

 It has been a while.  A few things.  I am still at my start weight.  I had lost a little because of a good thing:

LENT!  I gave up sweets and it has been a lot easier than i thought!  but then the bad thing..

I have a boy who has been in my life for 4 years, romantically for 2.5.  The one problem is he goes to college 1600 miles away..  I plan on starting my career in Colorado whether he is there or not after I graduate and he lives there so we always have just said that we will live our lives now and the distance is just a test to see how much we care for eachother.  And if it is meant to be it will be and we can give it a shot when I live out in Colorado.

Life had been fine with us - skyping everyday, talking when we could, living our lives but still caring for eachother...

Until I went 24 hours without hearing from him...turns out he broke his neck from a hockey game...he got a slapshot to the neck and had been in the hospital with his family.  I was so upset - i couldnt eat and then I definitely could eat and I ate a lot.  I am fine now, I just wish I could be there. :(  But then again, I am not his girlfriend and I have exams this week... it all just hurts.   I may go out for spring break, but in some ways visiting and  having to say goodbye is harder than not because it is a huge tease.

Anyhow, please pray for him and his family! best of luck to everyone with their goals. it is getting warmer out!  Think of the positive :)

 I'm back!  With the effects of a recent heartbreak (and consequential ben and jerrys) I have decided to re join flaab and partayyy it up to lose the last 10 pounds that I have wanted to lose for a long time.  

Flaab legit has been the one way that I have found motivation without being judged by my family or friends and I am so excited to be back and to find the last bit of motivation that I need to get to my prime spring break condition!  I mean even though I will be in the frozen tundra of New England for spring break, at least I know I will be beach ready.

Plus!  I get to see and cheer on the rest of the wonderful folks here at Flaab!  Here is to everyone succeeding in their weight loss goals!

Cheers!

Hi Flaab-ers,

As you will recall, I made an early December pledge to lose 10 pounds by 1/1/2010. I displayed what I thought was a great temperance in my food and beverage decisions over the course of this unforgettable holiday season, and looked forward to basking in the glow of my own success and glory.

Did I do it?

No.

I lost 9.

I suppose it's just as well. If someone like Your Intern were to succeed every time she laid out goals for herself (particularly those pertaining to cookies and, err....punch) she would stop trying.

I would stop trying.

You would stop trying.

We would all stop trying.

It's human nature. So I'll take my close-but-no-cigar and spin it into 2010 gold, and I encourage the rest of the Flaabiverse to do the same.

What do you say?

Emily the Intern

Guys.  I KNOW I owe you a huge, wrap-up, flaabarific post.  I know I have been TERRIBLE and it's waaaaaay tardy.  But it's coming, I swear!  With photos!  And a pledge to sign up again!  And a hand-written note for Angelina Jolie.  We can stick it in a copy of the new Brangelina tell-all along with a crisp hundred-dollar bill.

Hi Flaab-ers,

Your Intern is fast approaching her deadline (lose 10 by 2010, if you will recall) and it seems as if the proffered treats of her holiday hosts are multiplying before her very eyes.

WHAT GIVES?!

I'm three pounds away from my self-imposed goal and I have exactly one week to lose it. Soon, my mini-bet will end and the gods of the Flaabiverse will issue their final verdict.

Can I? Will I?

Stay tuned.

xo

Emily the Intern

 The Wicked Witch is Dead!!! This has great significance, since I live in Kansas!!! On May 28th, I became a chubbette-flaabette. I was more than "middle-age" and the weight sneakily, crept on. Add to all that stuff, I had to take some REALLY @#$^$## steroids...  So, I was a refrigerator with arms and legs. 

Read about Flaab. Signed up immediately.  

I have "accepted who I am." Hate, Money and Humiliation are my road (yellow brick) to happiness. NOT the outcome Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dove Beauty Products, or my Yoga teacher  might have wanted for me---health, well-being, life-style, loving yourself crap.  But I have learned to love myself. One evil pound at a time.

Hi Flaab-ers,

Your Intern has encountered some maaaaajor temptations in the course of the past few days. For example, she oversaw the construction of a gingerbread mansion held together with gooey icing and bedecked with a trillion tiny candies. She discovered a bulk candy store in her neighborhood, practically at the foot of her driveway. 

But the pledge to lose 10 by 2010 has prevailed! Only 5 to go. 

I must admit, I've been helped along by an appetite-thieving head cold and a pair of, errm, aspirational jeans I uncovered at the back of my closet. But I'm determined to keep it off after I finish losing it, and therefore promise now and forever to abstain from the skinnifying-but-fleeting-and-stupid diet methods of one DJ Tanner, who--when she needed to drop some pounds in a flash to look hot for a pool party--subsisted on ice popsicles for nearly a week. Yikes. I'm afraid Your Intern has just disclosed her age and love of low culture.

xo

Emily the Intern

It's almost been 2 weeks since I've posted about my dreaded 9 lb. weight gain from my very first weigh-in almost 6 months ago. Thank you E. Jean & Emily for encouraging me. Honestly, you guys are the best!!!! In life, we don't give enough credit for those who actually take the time out to say a kind word or propel us in the right direction with loads of encouragement! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! :)

Since the last time I posted, I've made some healthier decisions. Been squeezing in working out time during the week. I just feel so much more energetic. Forgot how good that felt! Other than that, been doing some soul searching as well. Had a heart-to-heart with my BFFs about how as long as I can remember, I've never truly been "happy" or "content" with my weight. I remember even weighing between 100 and 120 lbs (in high school and college) and really always having some issues with my arms or my boobs.. or my stomach.... And it made me realize that I wasn't happier when I was much, much, much smaller. That may have lead me to where I am now?  So, it brought me to the following conclusion: I need to be happy with where I am currently. Does that mean I need to jump up and down about being 50+ lbs over my ideal weight? No. But, it does mean that I need to be grateful for where I am now. My body is still functioning, albeit, at a less than optimal level. I still have my organs and my limbs. (I know it sounds like I'm overstating the obvious.. but these are things, I believe, that we do take for granted.) I may not have toned and fabulous arms right now.. but at least, I have them, right? My arms are, by God's grace, functioning very well. I realized that I need to focus on the positives and really focus on loving myself at where I am right now. Yes, I did gain a crap lot of weight this year. 2009 will be known as the one year, where I've weighed the most in my life. Not a pretty year for me. But it's ok.. It's time to take a deep breath and to really count my blessings as this year comes to an end. So, as I really take time to love myself now, just as I am, and take time to thank God for sustaining me through yet another year, I believe I will be able to appreciate every effort I can take towards attaining my final goal and hopefully, those changes will be permanent. 

Dear Flaab-ers,

Your Intern consumed half a mammoth almond croissant for dessert, a sin she will now attempt to remedy with a long evening walk in the freezing cold. 

Grrr,

Emily the Intern

Hi Flaab-ers,

Your Intern has strep. Though this recent development is bad for general productivity and comfort levels, it's good for resting and beefing up my mini-Flaab game plan. I slept so much today I feel like a freshly-scrubbed human, ready to take on the world with both grace and aplomb, ready to lose 10 by 2010 and emerge on the other side a thinner, happier me. But I know how important it is that I proceed carefully, as it would be SUCH a drag to lose the weight and pack it all back on again. So as soon as I can swallow real food it's off the broth and back to the real stuff (albeit in modest portions), lest I fool my system and shrink my stomach and diminish my metabolism. It's a very tricky business, this whole sustainable weight loss project. Good thing Your Intern is no dummy. 

xo

Emily the Intern

Hi Flaab-ers,

As you know, I've committed myself to losing 10 by 2010. I've got 25 days counting today, and today was a hard day to start: I attended a holiday brunch. All the classics were there for the taking--quiche, glazed ham, and about a trillion desserts.

Don't mean to brag, but Your Intern behaved herself quite well. I stuck to the grilled vegetable plate (asparagus, artichokes, red peppers, oh my!), snuck in a bit of blue cheese and fruit, and allowed myself exactly one oopsie: a dark chocolate cookie. As I watched everybody scarf the quiche (which contained a quart of cream, by the host's own bashful admission) I realized it was a prettier sight to behold than to actually consume. Next time you're tempted by a deadly-rich holiday foodstuff, consider the source material. Cream, butter, eggs, sugar? If we're talking miniscule amounts of these things, as in coming together to form one small thumbprint cookie or two spoonfuls of chocolate mouse, you're in the clear. But a quart of heavy cream? Your Intern invites you to imagine a holiday hula bikini, with licorice sticks and candy canes strung up into a skirt and cinnamon buns covering the bosoms. Might as well strap it to your body--'cause that's where it's headed to stay.

xo

Emily the Intern

Hi Flaab-ers,

To end the slump Your Intern has experienced as of late, she (me) proposes a swift kick in the pants. My pants, that is. You see, I'm setting another Flaab goal for myself: 10 pounds down by 1/1/2010. This means I have 25 days to lose 10 pounds, and since safe, sustainable weight loss maxes out at around 3 pounds per week, what I've laid out for myself is far from a crash diet. It's more like I'm getting a head start on my new year's resolutions.

It might seem insane-o to put myself up to this now, smack dab in the middle of the eating season. But geez, Louise, enough is enough. Your Intern isn't one to spout off at the mouth about the commercialization of the holidays (I'll leave that to the graduate students and young philosophers), but she certainly balks at the fact that now, in addition to spending money on gifts and traveling to see the ones we love, we're supposed to accept food guilt and way-too-full tummies as a natural part of the process as well? Methinks it's a crock of shit. I've said it before and I'll say it again: eat what you really want to eat because you really, truly want to eat it. Not because you're bored at the edge of the kids' table (been there) or because you're eating while cooking and eating double/triple portions as a result (been there) or because Aunt Milly has handed you an overflowing plate and it would be sacrilegious to tell her you're a disciple of Flaab (oh good gorgonzola, have I been there). You simply CANNOT spend December doing something you'll regret at least until summer solstice, and probably longer. We don't need excuses to eat. Well, some people do. But rest assured, my Flaabulous friends, WE do not.

xo

Emily the Intern

Gained 9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when I'm about to ask myself if it can get any MORE horrific.. the answer is sadly, yes, of course! It can always get terribly worse, if I just let myself go. In the last couple of months, I've been extremely careless and apathetic. It's time for a major change!

I guess what I've learned is that if you keep doing the same things over and over again, without any deliberate changes to your routine/lifestyle, you are bound to get the same results each time. So, I just need to take control of my life and stop making excuses.

Ah.. it's almost 2 A.M. I guess first things first...need to get my zzzzs...

Thank you Flaab for listening :)

It's been 11 and a half months.  I have two weeks left to lose 31 pounds in order to make my goal.  Does anyone know the name of that juice fast Beyonce did before Dream Girls/?  Or better yet, does anyone have Star Jones' doctor's number?

Well, barring any major interventions, I can't imagine that I'm going to reach my goal.  That doesn't mean I'm giving up.  Another few pounds would be great.  And honestly, I'm proud that I have gotten this far without gaining the weight back.  Despite 23 years of dieting (yes that's right, I'm 22 but I feel like I have been dieting since the womb) I have never lost weight without gaining it back, and then some.  That's a big deal to me.

I also feel like I've learned a lot about how to lose weight slowly and permanently.  I've tried a lot of things in the past 11 months- Weight Watchers, eliminating certain foods, writing down everything I eat, etc- and now I'm getting a sense of what works for me and what doesn't.  I've also learned that food is important to me- I like to enjoy it, I like to celebrate with it, I like that it triggers certain emotions and memories.  That's not necessarily something I want or need to change.  I do need to understand why I eat when I eat, and what my habits do to my body.

So for the next few weeks, I'm going to continue to avoid flour and sugar.  I'm going to remind myself why I joined flaab in the first place.  And then I'm going to sign up for a shorter term so I can lose another 10 pounds, and then another 10 and then another 10 until I hit my goal of 60.

Hi Flaab-ers,

Today's NYT contains an article about a recent Princeton University study which found that the additional brain cells produced by regular exercise may be functionally different than other brain cells. How, you ask? Those neurons generated by exercise are the type that control stress responses, particularly positive responses to stress. In short, this means people who exercise regularly have a greater likelihood of responding positively to stressful stimuli, which is fantastic for a whole landslide of reasons--no stress eating, disturbed sleep patterns due to stress, snapping at friends and family members, etc.

But my favorite part of the article is where writer Gretchen Reynolds explains the terms of the study: the neurons of "slothful rats" were found to respond differently to stress than the neurons of rats who exercised regularly. Poor fat rats. But, to be sure, Your Intern knows which team she'd like to be on.

xo

Emily the Intern

well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/18/phys-ed-why-exercise-makes-you-less-anxious/

As I stated in my previous blog, I am using Nutrisystem to help me lose this weight.  The recipe section in their forums is fantastic!  My current favorite:

One apple, cut into small chunks.  One packet of Splenda.  A dash and a splash of cinnamon and water, respectively.  Toss it in a bowl and then microwave for 1-2 minutes.  Voila!  Crustless apple pie. 

Add a stick of low-fat string cheese, and you've got an awesome snack.

In other news, I have decided that I am the queen of self-sabotage.  I went out drinking this weekend, and I ate poorly for the majority of the weekend.  Consequently, I gained.  Ugh.  Perhaps I need to start carrying around a picture of members of the WBC, and look at it when I'm tempted to "be bad". 

I'm also considering doing Bikram Yoga.  Does anyone here have experience with it?  A friend of mine is going to give me a free 30 day pass. 

Hi Flaab-ers,

Today Your Intern turns twenty-five. Recently, I've spent loads of time making scads of lists about what I'd like to change and how I'm going to change it--more exercise, less dairy, that sort of thing. But overall I suppose it's a different category of decision that makes us who we are, including how we look and how we feel. Last night, Your Intern's handsome paramour escorted her to a concert and in the venue's bathroom (which was filthy; see, I'm acting older already) there was a quote scrawled in marker across the wall of the stall. It said,

DON'T CHANGE YOUR ADDRESS, CHANGE THE WAY YOU LIVE.

At the risk of sounding oh so Chicken Soup for the Flaab-er's Soul, I have to tell you--I really got it. As someone who has recently moved, first to a new gigantic city and then across that city to a new apartment, it struck a chord with me. And as someone who is newly twenty-five, it meant something, too. Twenty-five isn't old. But it's old enough to mandate healthy living and life practices that enrich my life instead of taking away from it. In the end, this new philosophy and renewed commitment to health may or may not include morning runs and table cream. But it is certain to include one thing: a healthier, happier Intern.

xo

E the I, age 25